Well, hey..

So....

I had to make a big decision this week about the University of Washington, which is my DREAM school. I was going to just send in my acceptance, but I realized I needed to consult the Big Man first. I prayed and prayed- others were praying as well- for clarity and confirmation. The day before my decision was due, I fasted speech (which means I didn't speak in order to hear God more clearly) and God made it quite apparent that He wasn't going to TELL me what to do. He wanted me to take a step in faith. So... I prayed more. And... God still didn't tell me. BUT. I believe He pulled my heart in the direction I was meant to go. Through a lot of hard conversations and difficult reasoning, I finally came to realize that I'm not meant to go to UW this fall. It was such a hard decision to come to. You have to understand- EVERYONE in my family is counting on me to go to school this September. Almost every one of them supported my YWAM endeavor but needed reassurance that I was planning on going to school immediately afterward. I knew, most of all, my parents would be incredibly disappointed with me. Knowing this, knowing that by going to UW (which, by the way, is a super great university) and earning a degree in just two short years there I would have almost complete financial security, knowing that by refusing my offer to attend the UW this September I was pretty much forfeiting any hope of getting in to the school, I made the decision not to go. That's a huge part of knowing that I made the choice most pleasing to God. For the time I've been here, God's been showing me that He is faithful and that I can trust Him to take care of me. I know that the choice I made is what God wants because He wants to show me (and probably everyone around me) that He is TRULY the provider and will always care for His people.

During a conversation with Luke, He reminded me of Matthew 6:33-

"Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what He requires of you, and He will provide you with all these other things." (Good News Translation)

The morning of the mailing of the letter, God prompted me to look through the entirety of Matthew chapter 6. The last half- verses 19 through the end- really caught my attention.

First, I looked to see what "all these other things" referred to in the verse. Verses 25-32 are the "Do not worry" verses (If you don't know what I'm talking about, I strongly encourage you to look them up) in which Jesus tells us not to worry about what we eat, drink, or wear because God will take care of us... BUT the section is concluded with verse 33, which tells us that God will provide for us when we are "concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God".

Then...

6:19-21
"Do not store up riches for yourselves here on Earth, where moths and rust destroy, and robbers break in and steal. Instead, store up riches for yourselves in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and robbers cannot break in and steal. For your heart will always be where your riches are."

6:24
"You cannot be a slave of two masters; you will hate one and love the other; you will be loyal to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

^^ These verses especially were confirmation of my decision. The only thing I really felt God saying to me about UW was "Why?" My answer essentially boiled down to financial support for myself. These verses were God confirming to me that He would take care of me, that I didn't have to worry about it as long as I'm pursuing His will. 

Man. What a tough decision. God gave me a lot of confirmation though.
I called my parent to tell them, and, needless to say, they were immensely disappointed. I spent a lot of time crying and crying out to God, apologizing for making the wrong choice (which was silly, really, considering the amount of confirmation He gave me). I had the worst morning. I finally started to feel okay again when I felt God ask me how I came to my decision. I answered that I made it in an effort to please Him, and He told me He knew that. Then, I was talking to Luke (again. He's really good about making himself available) and I checked to see if maybe my parents had sent me any texts or called or anything. Lo and behold, I had a text from my mamma telling me she had prayed and God had helped her to accept my decision and have peace about it! I was so excited I started crying. I didn't need the confirmation from her, but it was such a blessing. God knew I needed it. Man. I was, I AM, so stoked.

SO! The big question- what happens next? Next as in after DTS ends in August. You know, I have no clue. It isn't up to me, though.

When I mailed my letter in, it was so symbolic. God asks us to lay down our lives for Him, to give up everything for His sake. I mailed my future away. I mailed my security away. I mailed my earthly success away. And you know what? I'm more excited now than I was at the thought of going to school. God is good. He is SO good. I'm not saying I'll never go to school- for all I know, it's in His plan for me to earn a degree some day. I just know that for now, He's proud of me and my choice to put my whole life in His hands, and His hands alone. He has total control, now. Ooooo buddy. I'm SO STOKED! Keep praying for me to stay focused. You guys have been so great so far, and I'm incredibly thankful.

Our finances for the lecture phase are due tomorrow- as a school, we owe about 7K as of right now. If you feel prompted to give, please do! Don't give to me, though- give to my school mates: Isaac Spencer, Azaa Lkh, or Asma Yousaf. Just click the link in my sidebar, type in one of their names, and give what God tells you to. We would be honored(:

God bless.

<3