The first lesson we learned during my Discipleship Training School was on the core values of YWAM. The second was on hearing God's voice.
Luckily for me, God didn't rush me into that one. He knew we had a ways to go before I could get a grasp on that basic part of having a relationship with Him.
During my DTS, I heard God. That's different, though, than working out the discipline of hearing from Him on a 24-hour basis.
Now, at the beginning of round two with YWAM, God and I are starting to tackle that concept at last.
There's a preface I want to give before I get into this, though-
First of all, I'm sorry I haven't written more. I've written tons of ideas down in my notes, but I've been so busy doing five million things a day, talking to a hundred awesome people, that I've barely had time to sleep, let along blog.
Second, this week our speaker is a great dude named Joseph. He's a graphic designer, trained by God, who's worked with big names like Mercedes and some other people I can't recall right now. Anyway, he's been talking to us more about core values and how they build us into who we are as individuals and as groups as well. That's not really what got me going on this thing, though. What it was was hearing the way Joseph talks about his relationship with God. The way Joseph talks about God is as if God is actually there with him everywhere he goes, in every situation, in every area of his life. Well. As I was thinking about this, I realized that Joseph isn't just supremely lucky to have this kind of a relationship with God- this is who God is to the core of His being. In the Bible, God adresses every arena of life. In the New Testament, He gives His followers the teacher of all things, the Holy Spirit, who lives in us and is with us at all times. Holy Spirit is our direct connection with God. Wireless technology is new to us, but God's had it on lock for a few thousand years now.
When I continued thinking about Joseph's ability to exchange conversation with God like He is a physical person, I realized that I can totally have that kind of relationship with Him, too. There's actually nothing stopping me from having that aside from myself. God gave us all the tools we need in order to be in 24-7 relationship with Him- we have to figure out how to use them so that we don't miss out on that incredible blessing.
So, God and I are conversing. It's going slowly right now, mostly because I'm quite distractable and not super great at sitting still and just hanging out with God, but we're working on that. And as we do, I'm finding that it actually isn't that hard to hear God talking. I'm not saying I have it mastered, or even that I'm good at hearing God, but I can definitely do it.
Here's a really dumb example of how God wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives: The other day when I woke up, I told God I wan't getting out of bed until He showed me what I should wear that day. He totally did, and I got compliments all day. What up. I know I have a good sense of style, but seriously, Jesus knows better.
Also, I'm learning that God has no problem being totally personal in the way He chooses to communicate with us. He uses our lingo, talks to us in ways we'll receive His comments. Think about it- if God can speak every language and dialect, why couldn't He speak yours?
Hm. That may have been all I wanted to say about that. For now, anyway.
There's more, though, because God HAS been talking to me a lot lately, I've been getting a lot of direction and guidance from Him. One of the things we've been talking about is that fact that I'm really strong-willed, go-get-'em personality in a leadership school with a bunch of people who are that same way. I really feel like, as ironic as it is, God has me in a season of stepping back and not stepping into that leadership role so much. I got a word before I came here in September about my growth with God being what attracts others, and I really believe God has me here not necessarily to learn about being a leader, but to really grow a lot in my relationship with Him. Trust me, it isn't easy for me to not take charge of everything all the time, but a lot of the reason God wants me to step back is because I tend to put a lot of pressure and a lot of expectations on myself that aren't from God. I take responsibility for things God hasn't given me responsibility for, and because of that, I mess things up and stress myself out. Because I've grown up in the church, I felt like I should be at THIS level with God, basing our relationship status on the amount of head knowledge I thought I had. God revealed to me, though, that I'm really just a baby. It's the same concept as knowing ABOUT someone but not really KNOWING them. I thought I knew a lot about God (which, I didn't even, I have a lot of misconceptions) but I didn't know God. So I'm just now starting to get to know Him, and He has a lot of grace for me because of that. I mean, He has infinite grace anyway, but I expected so much more from myself than He does from me. It was so freeing to hear Him say it that I literally laughed out loud with relief while He was talking to me. That's not to say I've relinquished all responsibility and am not free to live however I want to. God just freed me from taking responsibility I haven't been given yet.
What else....
I need to talk about our mobile outreach stuff and also about sacrificing our time, but that isn't for right now.
That's probably it for today.
Thank you so much for reading. I hope it is challenging to your faith(:
-Ash
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